Am I reading too much into this?

it's obvious that you were not invited to this party. too much secret squirrel crap has been going on between your ML, BL and who knows whom else in your husband's family. unfortunately, your ML's sister was brought into it, which i'm sure brought her much embarrment and discomfort. she wouldn't have told you the details of the gift exclusion, otherwise. the invite for the 50th was tacky, juvenile and cruel. your husband needs to talk to his brother, as it sounds like this was all originated by him; your ML just took sides and is fanning the fire. shame on her.